Living Your Dreams

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Walk through your fear

Dreams

Dreams. Goals.

Most of my early life I felt stupid.  But in 1981, at the age of 28, I set out to change the conversation. I went back to school. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever made, because it brought up all of my insecurities. Fears I never knew I had surfaced such as the fear of being too old, the fear of failure, the fear of not being smart enough, the fear of not being able to grasp the concepts, fear of not fitting in, the fear of going back to school, the fear of the coursework being too hard – the list continued. But one day at a time, after talking to advisers, researching the necessary steps, and auditing classes, I decided to face my fears and embark on a journey, one that prove to be an entry into a life far beyond my wildest dreams.

What do you dream about when you are by yourself and left with your own thoughts? What do you wish you could do “if life were different”? What would you be doing if you could snap your fingers and make it all happen?

What would you do if you were guaranteed success?

We all have dreams. Some of us make them come true, some of us talk about making them come true, and some of us wish we had made them come true. Most of us know what we long to make happen.  Perhaps you are afraid to speak it aloud, but deep down you know.  It’s your heart’s desire, a passion that burns inside you just waiting to be nudged into action. Then there are those of you who need some assistance in identifying the dream-the heart’s desire.  Maybe because it’s been stuffed so deep inside that only emotional surgery can release it.

For the rest of you, perhaps one at a time you had a dream – and now you don’t. So, let’s begin by identifying your dream.

How do you go about doing that? For this you’ll need to tap into the right side of your brain – your creative side, your playful, imaginative and inspired side.

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Don’t Let Stuff Get in the Way

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Have you ever started something you really wanted to do and not finished it?

Change your life.

Have you ever allowed stuff to just get in the way of your doing what you said was most important to you in the moment? I suspect at some point in your life you have.

Choosing to do what is least important in the moment may seem like the best decision at the time, but it rarely is. It’s merely the easiest. Each time you take a detour, each time you allow something to steer you away from what you say and know is most important to you, you pay a price –  knowingly or unknowingly. And over time, the price gets higher.

Your reasons for not fulfilling your commitments are always valid – at least at the time. For instance, emergencies and other people’s urgencies, unforeseeable conflicts of interest, not having the money to do what you’ve committed to do, insufficient information, lack of time, not having someone to take care of the kids, and health issues can all get in the way of fulfilling a commitment. But regardless of the validity of your excuses, the impact those excuses have on your relationships and on your self-esteem can be damaging. You don’t feel good about yourself when you don’t follow through.

Eventually, for us to succeed at whatever we want to do in life, we simply must get started doing those things that lead to our success, regardless of the distractions that get in our way. We must be willing to take action despite how we feel. It’s the very act of doing something that relives us of the pain of feeling like someone who can’t be counted on. Taking an action, regardless of how small, is the key.

Ask yourself today. What stuff gets in your way?

What distractions keep pulling your attention away from the things you say are most important to you? Having the courage to write them on paper makes them real and takes away some of their power.  List all the things you use to procrastinate. Getting that stuff out of you and onto the paper is a first step in moving closer to begin where you want to be in life.

Join my conversation on FacebookFacebook Esteemableacts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts page, Twitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn. Feel free to subscribe to my newsletter.

Being Over Prepared

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Have The Courage to Risk Failure  – Even When YOU are Over Prepared

Microphone at conference. Dynamic microphone against the background of convention center. Real photo.

My experience as a professional speaker has taught me a lot about being over prepared. Sometimes you can be so prepared for a program that you create unnecessary tension, setting yourself up for failure.

You become more focused on the outcomes then on enjoying and participating in the process. You’re so plastic, stiff, and totally inaccessible to your audience. You’re so scripted that you leave no room for spontaneity.

There is a fear that if you deviate from your script, you’ll fail. Once I was so overly prepared for a program and so concerned about failing that I lost sight of why I was really doing it and failed. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. I was too prepared.

Public Speaking.

On the contrary, being prepared, when done right, gives you the freedom to be more spontaneous, not less so. Take for example public speakers who are well grounded in their material; they spend less time trying to remember their lines and more time building a rapport with their audience.

What does it mean to you to be overly prepared? Have you ever been overly prepared for something? Describe examples in your own life of over preparedness. What beliefs made you feel that you had to be overly prepared? What lesson did you learn from that experience?

Join my conversation on FacebookFacebook Esteemableacts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts page, Twitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn. Feel free to subscribe to my newsletter.

How do you let go of stuff that gets in the way?

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Goals. Dreams. Fear.

With 2016 almost at a close let’s take some time to reflect on goals for this year and where you are at with those goals.  If you’ve not quite reached your goals, today’s blog post outlines fourteen steps to help you stay focused on your dreams!

dream or realityStep 1#: Admit stuff gets in your way: Denial is the enemy of success. Excuses prolong the misery and keep you further from the solution.

Step #2:  Take responsibility for your part: The more time you use to blame your habits on others, be it your parents, your spouse, your friends, the government, or anyone else, the less time you have to do what you need to do to move forward.

Step #3: Feel your fear and take action anyway:  Fear keeps you in bondage. Walking through fear sets you free.

Step #4: Share with another person: Acknowledge on paper and to another person what’s really important to you in this moment.

Step #5: Remind yourself of your agreement: Reflect back on the promise you made with yourself and the agreement to live your dreams. Keep it uppermost in your mind. Repeat it over and over again, perhaps in the form of an affirmation.

Step #6: Break the hard stuff into small pieces: It’s easier for the mind to accept a small piece than a big chunk that appears too hard to handle. So reduce all tasks into smaller, more manageable pieces and then do something.

Step #7: Alternate between the easy and the hard tasks: For some of you the best approach will be to tackle the hard tasks first. For others, it will be more rewarding to do the easy tasks, and then move on to the more difficult ones.

Step #8: Take it a day at a time: There will be days when you’ll feel as if you’re on top of the world, in the flow, in sync with the universe. Then there will be days where nothing goes right. Consider this time an opportunity to take a much needed break or regroup.

Step #9: Schedule everything: Visual reminders are powerful and scheduling is a visual reminder. Schedule time to do the things that will take you closer to what’s important to you.

Step #10: Delegate tasks when you can: Delegation is a learned skill that begins with selecting the appropriate person for the job. If someone else is willing and able to perform a task for you, let them!

Step #11: See discipline as a good thing: In today’s “I want what I want when I want it” world, the quick fix is the order of the day. We are always looking for the faster and easier way around every situation. And sometimes our quest for all things immediate has us bypassing the real lessons to be learned, such as patience and discipline.

Step #12: Avoid being a perfectionist: Understand that every time you say “I’m just a perfectionist,” you’re giving yourself permission not to try. It’s good to want to do a job well. But, when your best becomes an excuse not to try, that is not a good excuse.

Step #13: Don’t wait for the right time: Forget about waiting to be in the right mood- it will never come. There is never a right time to do the hard things you’ve been avoiding.

Step #14: Even if you don’t believe you can complete the task – just do it anyway! Act as if you are enjoying it, and then before you know it, you will be where you want to be.

Right now, get up from wherever you are and do something. Perhaps it’s writing out your goals or creating a visual that will help you stay focused on what you want to do. Whatever it is, just do it or tackle a small, manageable piece of it today!

So what steps can you do today toward moving past your procrastination, past your fear?

Procrastination. What Causes It?

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Commitments. Too Busy.

Goals.Have you ever made a commitment to yourself or someone else and not kept it? Have you ever allowed stuff to just get in the way of your doing what you said was most important to you in the moment? Well we all have done it at some point in our lives, and that is procrastination.

On the surface, we procrastinate because we are too busy, we have more important things to do, or because the task at hand is too challenging, boring, painful, or simply not fun. But here is a thought: Underneath procrastination lies fear of taking action. Procrastination is another word for fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the process, fear of the unknown, fear of trying something new, fear of change – these are fears that prevent us from fulfilling our commitments. Coming to terms with how powerful fear is in your life is the first step in changing old habits.

Right now you may be thinking, “What does she know? It’s easy for her to say that I’m afraid but I know I’m really not. I’m just really too busy.” But are you really too busy or is there something important you’re putting off right now because you’re afraid to tackle it?

What are you procrastinating about today?

What one thing are you putting off until tomorrow? Do you have unfinished business to attend to? Is there a task you need to complete? A dream that needs to be acted upon? Why are you procrastinating and what price are you paying? Take a moment and record the answer in your journal. Don’t put off until tomorrow what can be done today, because tomorrow may never come. So get started now!

Write down your top three dreams and identify what prevents you from achieving each one of your dreams. Be as truthful as you can. An honest look at the obstacles that stand in your way will help in knowing what actions to take.

Feel free to join my conversation on FacebookFacebook Esteemableacts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts page, Twitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn.