Living an Amazing Life.


Beautiful Young Woman Outdoors. Enjoy Nature. MeadowUntil  I had the courage to dream of a better life, I wasn’t able to have one. Dreams are what life is made of. They give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning and a reason to go to bed early at night, so you can wake up and start all over again.  But like anything worth having, dreaming takes work, which often requires that you walk through something that you’re afraid of.

You’ll encounter many obstacles along the road to living your dreams.  Some obstacles may be real, while others may be imagined. One of the real obstacles that can definitely stand in the way of living your dreams is negative core beliefs!

We are what we believe. And we create our reality based on what we think. Like it or not, your beliefs influence your attitude and your behavior – and how you behave is what defines you.

When I believed I wasn’t smart enough to go back to school, my actions supported my beliefs. So I didn’t even try. But once I realized that to live the life I wanted I had to honestly confront the things that were holding me back. I knew that I would have to face my fears head on and just walk right through them! And when I started believing I could really do something to change the course of my life, I took actions that supported those beliefs. That’s when I finally enrolled in school.

Despite the negative feelings I often had about myself, I became willing to behave contrary to those feelings. Every time I accomplished something that I didn’t think I could, and got to the other side, I felt great!  Each small step brought me closer to living the life I always dreamed of living.

So ask yourself what your core beliefs are. But you may find that seemingly simple question tougher to answer than you think.

One thing you can immediately do to better understand your beliefs is to listen intently to what you say. The words that come out of your mouth can often reflect what you really believe, as do the thoughts you keep in your mind.

So what do you dream of?

Are the words you are using and things you are saying compatible with your dreams, or do they conflict with them?

What beliefs are you holding that are restricting you from taking positive actions towards living your dreams?

Remember, the more you resonate with your dreams, the more likely you will start to live them.

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You are in a relationship with your body


Health. Healthy Living. Research. Body.

Relationships work best when we respect one another, and respect is an action. Listening to your body when it says its needs something and giving it what it asks for – such as rest and relaxation when it’s tired, water when it’s thirsty, nutritious food when it’s hungry and pampering all the time – are behaviors that demonstrate respect. It’s not enough to say you love your body, and then abuse it. Forcing yourself to stay awake past your body’s bedtime is not a respectful act, particularly if it’s done on a regular basis. Stuff yourself with more food when your body says “I’ve had enough” is not a good thing either.

The relationship between you and your body will improve when you take responsibility for your actions. It’s easy to use your past or your environment or even your feelings as excuses for not taking care of yourself, but to have and maintain good health, you must take responsibility for what you have  done and continue to do to your body. What excuses are you making? Who are you blaming for the condition your body is in? How can you start taking responsibility now?

Taking responsibility begins with gathering information. Read up on health matters in your favorite magazine. Most have a column or a regular department addressing health issues. Go to the library, look on the Internet, and ask questions of health care professionals. Gather information about your body. When was the last time you had a regular physical? Do you know what’s going on with your body? Are you confused about which medical exams/screenings you should have and when? While identifying which exams you need can be overwhelming and frightening, it’s worth the effort. Ask your doctor which tests are appropriate for someone of your gender, race, and age. There may even be specific tests given to people who live in certain geographical regions. Look into it.

Another step in the process of self-care is being proactive, that is, taking positive action before there is a problem. The opposite of proactive is reactive, when you wait until your body, in desperation, cries out for help. And sometimes you wait until great damage is already done.

Thus, the more you know, the more you can help yourself. The Internet is a wonderful resource. This is an important step in taking care of your health. Here is a short alphabetical list of screenings you might want to consider: AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases, blood pressure, bone density, breast exam, cholesterol, fecal occult blood test, glucose, hearing, mammogram, PAP smear, problem-drinking assessment, prostate-specific antigen test, thyroid-stimulating hormone measurement, and vision. Find out which ones you need, and take them.

Don’t wait and see.

Find out now. If there is a problem that needs to be addressed, take care of it immediately. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

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Choices. Right and Wrong.


Choices.  Right and Wrong Choices.

Choices. Right and Wrong.

Choices. Right and Wrong.

On any given day we make decisions about everything from what time we wake up in the morning to what time we go to bed at night; from who we will spend our time with, to what we will spend our time doing; from how we will be treated, to what we won’t tolerate. Yes, every day we are faced with a myriad of choices and each choice, regardless of the outcome, moves us closer to or farther away from real and lasting self-esteem. There is always a right and wrong choice, regardless of whether we choose to acknowledge that.

Sometimes the outcome of a decision we make is exactly what we want, but we still don’t feel good about ourselves. Why not? Because some of our choices aren’t the right choices for us in the first place. On the other hand, sometimes the outcome we get is not what we want, but ultimately it was the right decision for us. Right and wrong. Who determines what is right and wrong for us, and what is a right choice?

What’s a right choice?

What’s a right choice and how do you know if you’re making one? A right choice is a decision you make because your intuition tells you it’s the right option for you, regardless of what other people say, or regardless of what your Other Voice tells you.

Your Other Voice is the voice that doesn’t always have your best interest at heart. That voice is more interested in having fun than in doing what’s right for you. It just wants to play, be entertained, and do what’s easy. Your Other Voice is sometimes out to get you, and when given half the chance it convinces you that a right choice is a wrong choice or that a wrong choice is perfectly okay.

Has your Other Voice reared its head today? How has it overpowered your intuitive voice? What questions are you battling to which you know the right answer to but are being pulled in another direction? Take a moment today and think about the answers to these questions.

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Chris Borland. 49ers. Self esteem.


Chris Borland. 49ers. Self esteem.

Self esteem.

Self esteem.

Self Esteem Comes from DOING Esteemable Acts, and it’s an Esteemable Acts to have the courage to make tough choices.

How many people, yet alone a 24-year-old, would walk away from a multi-million dollar NFL contract and the opportunity to make much more in the future? I bet not most folks.  Yet, that’s what San Francisco 49ers linebacker Chris Borland did on Monday.  Self esteem comes from doing Esteemable Acts. Amazing!

Chris Borland just completed his rookie season for the 49ers, when he announced that he was retiring from pro football. His reason: mental health and physical wellbeing.  He chose not to be one of the many NFL casualties, who suffered long-term repetitive head trauma due to concussions.  Head trauma and its severe consequences is not new to football, but of late, the issue has become more public.  And, a few young athletes have made the choice to walk away, rather than live life like a vegetable.  Chris Borland is walking away from a lucrative four-year contract, with the 49ers, worth about $3 million, which includes a $617,436 signing bonus.  Some call him crazy; I call him courageous and smart.  Self-esteem comes from doing Esteemable Acts.

Head injuries and the NFL.

Repetitive head injuries have become a major concern for the NFL over the past several years. Many ex-NFL players are suffering from chronic long-term neurological problems as result of concussions and head trauma they suffered during their careers.  Everyone knows this is a problem, yet money is more powerful than common sense.  In fact, how can any thinking person say if you repeatedly get banged in the head that you will not suffer severe injuries?  According to a PBS report from 2014, 76 of 79 deceased NFL players were found to have some form of “brain disease.” In 2013, the NFL settled a $765 million class action lawsuit brought on by ex-players who said they suffer from illnesses due to head trauma. The suit alleged that the NFL covered up the long-term effects of head injuries.

Chris Borland said he began having doubts about his NFL future after what he believes was a concussion he suffered during his rookie training camp. He played through the injury because he was trying to make the team. Borland told ESPN, “I just thought to myself, ‘What am I doing? Is this how I’m going to live my adult life, banging my head, especially with what I’ve learned and know about the dangers?” It was after consulting with concussion researchers and former NFL players and discussing his concerns with his family, he came to the decision to retire.

And what a gentleman, he has decided to repay the 49ers part of his salary.

Money vs. Health and Well-being?

How much money is a person’s long-term health worth? Would you risk debilitating illness for your entire life for a chance to make millions of dollars?

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Scandal ABC. Integrity.


Scandal ABC. Integrity.

Really! Is it every woman’s dream that a man will love her enough to betray his country, his family, his kids, his integrity and his soul?  A man who places the life of his mistress over an entire nation?  Is it every woman’s dream that her husband will stand before her, and when asked, “What do you want most in the world? he answers, “My mistress’s safe return.”  Have you watched the ABC television series Scandal lately?  So funny! Personally, I would not want a man who gave up his integrity and his country for me. What kind of man would he be?  If he so openly and notoriously betrays his family and his responsibilities, what kind of man would he be?  Wow, is sex really that powerful – and if so, why? It’s not like there is not enough of it around.

Power can be intoxicating.

Power can be intoxicating, especially for someone who can use sex as a tool. To give you an idea of how power-driven the main character Olivia Pope is, even as she is being held hostage, she says, “Look at who wants me. Look at what they are willing to pay. THAT is how powerful I am.” So very funny… only on television is a black woman that powerful as to be able to not only cause a war, but to drive an auction for her life to over $300 million.
Perhaps not to the extreme of Olivia Pope, but do people not trade their integrity for a little power every day in the corporate world? Do regular people not cut corners and sacrifice honesty for an extra bit of power and prestige in the short term? However, the decisions you make on a daily basis have consequences – long-term consequences.

Right Choices.

What is it that you can do – right now – to move towards the ability to make better choices in life? Regardless of where you have come from, and the mistakes you may have made in the past, every day is a new beginning, so strive to learn from your failures and to make better choices for yourself.
While the values and beliefs her characters portray often go against my values and beliefs, I so love Ms. Shonda Rhimes. She rocks! She is an amazing and brilliant storyteller who knows how to keep you interested. And, she always gives me something to talk about. I hope my novels will be as fabulous and teeth gritting as her characters. You go girl!

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