You are in a relationship with your body


Health. Healthy Living. Research. Body.

Relationships work best when we respect one another, and respect is an action. Listening to your body when it says its needs something and giving it what it asks for – such as rest and relaxation when it’s tired, water when it’s thirsty, nutritious food when it’s hungry and pampering all the time – are behaviors that demonstrate respect. It’s not enough to say you love your body, and then abuse it. Forcing yourself to stay awake past your body’s bedtime is not a respectful act, particularly if it’s done on a regular basis. Stuff yourself with more food when your body says “I’ve had enough” is not a good thing either.

The relationship between you and your body will improve when you take responsibility for your actions. It’s easy to use your past or your environment or even your feelings as excuses for not taking care of yourself, but to have and maintain good health, you must take responsibility for what you have  done and continue to do to your body. What excuses are you making? Who are you blaming for the condition your body is in? How can you start taking responsibility now?

Taking responsibility begins with gathering information. Read up on health matters in your favorite magazine. Most have a column or a regular department addressing health issues. Go to the library, look on the Internet, and ask questions of health care professionals. Gather information about your body. When was the last time you had a regular physical? Do you know what’s going on with your body? Are you confused about which medical exams/screenings you should have and when? While identifying which exams you need can be overwhelming and frightening, it’s worth the effort. Ask your doctor which tests are appropriate for someone of your gender, race, and age. There may even be specific tests given to people who live in certain geographical regions. Look into it.

Another step in the process of self-care is being proactive, that is, taking positive action before there is a problem. The opposite of proactive is reactive, when you wait until your body, in desperation, cries out for help. And sometimes you wait until great damage is already done.

Thus, the more you know, the more you can help yourself. The Internet is a wonderful resource. This is an important step in taking care of your health. Here is a short alphabetical list of screenings you might want to consider: AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases, blood pressure, bone density, breast exam, cholesterol, fecal occult blood test, glucose, hearing, mammogram, PAP smear, problem-drinking assessment, prostate-specific antigen test, thyroid-stimulating hormone measurement, and vision. Find out which ones you need, and take them.

Don’t wait and see.

Find out now. If there is a problem that needs to be addressed, take care of it immediately. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Feel free to join my conversation on FacebookFacebook Esteemableacts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts page, Twitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn.

Chris Borland. 49ers. Self esteem.


Chris Borland. 49ers. Self esteem.

Self esteem.

Self esteem.

Self Esteem Comes from DOING Esteemable Acts, and it’s an Esteemable Acts to have the courage to make tough choices.

How many people, yet alone a 24-year-old, would walk away from a multi-million dollar NFL contract and the opportunity to make much more in the future? I bet not most folks.  Yet, that’s what San Francisco 49ers linebacker Chris Borland did on Monday.  Self esteem comes from doing Esteemable Acts. Amazing!

Chris Borland just completed his rookie season for the 49ers, when he announced that he was retiring from pro football. His reason: mental health and physical wellbeing.  He chose not to be one of the many NFL casualties, who suffered long-term repetitive head trauma due to concussions.  Head trauma and its severe consequences is not new to football, but of late, the issue has become more public.  And, a few young athletes have made the choice to walk away, rather than live life like a vegetable.  Chris Borland is walking away from a lucrative four-year contract, with the 49ers, worth about $3 million, which includes a $617,436 signing bonus.  Some call him crazy; I call him courageous and smart.  Self-esteem comes from doing Esteemable Acts.

Head injuries and the NFL.

Repetitive head injuries have become a major concern for the NFL over the past several years. Many ex-NFL players are suffering from chronic long-term neurological problems as result of concussions and head trauma they suffered during their careers.  Everyone knows this is a problem, yet money is more powerful than common sense.  In fact, how can any thinking person say if you repeatedly get banged in the head that you will not suffer severe injuries?  According to a PBS report from 2014, 76 of 79 deceased NFL players were found to have some form of “brain disease.” In 2013, the NFL settled a $765 million class action lawsuit brought on by ex-players who said they suffer from illnesses due to head trauma. The suit alleged that the NFL covered up the long-term effects of head injuries.

Chris Borland said he began having doubts about his NFL future after what he believes was a concussion he suffered during his rookie training camp. He played through the injury because he was trying to make the team. Borland told ESPN, “I just thought to myself, ‘What am I doing? Is this how I’m going to live my adult life, banging my head, especially with what I’ve learned and know about the dangers?” It was after consulting with concussion researchers and former NFL players and discussing his concerns with his family, he came to the decision to retire.

And what a gentleman, he has decided to repay the 49ers part of his salary.

Money vs. Health and Well-being?

How much money is a person’s long-term health worth? Would you risk debilitating illness for your entire life for a chance to make millions of dollars?

Feel free to join my conversation on FacebookFacebook Esteemableacts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts pageTwitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn


Let go.


Let go. Why me?

Let go.

Let go.

Sometimes when I am disappointed because I didn’t get something I wanted, it’s hard to understand why it happened.  It’s even harder to understand when people say to me, “Francine you have to let go.”  I immediately go to, “Why me?” I ask.  Like I should never experience any pain pr disappointment.   God, and God does not love me.”  What a silly place for me to go, but in being honest–that’s where I go.  Sometimes I don’t get what I want because I am supposed to try again, try harder, or let it go. Theoe is never a one size fits all answer. Because there is a God, I eventually get the right answer, for me.  I know that everything is in divine order.

Let go. Divine Order.

There have been many times when I failed, made a mistake, or was rejected and inherently knew I was to try again. I knew at my core that it wasn’t time to give up without a fight when I failed the New York Bar the first time in 1989, when I continually received rejection letters from literary agents in 2000, when it seemed like I’d never make it to the finish line during my first marathon race in 1995, and when my year old marriage seemed like it would end in divorce court in 1998.

At other times, when I tried had to reach a goal, somehow my best effort just wasn’t good enough. Instinctively, after many attempts, I knew it was time to let go.

Nothing happens by mistake, and Everything is in Divine Order.

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in this world by accident, even if in the moment we can’t make sense of the experience. There are often two levels of reasoning. There is a logical, secular explanation, such as you weren’t prepared in the way you needed to be. But there is also a spiritual, metaphysical account where you know whatever happens was for your highest and best good, regardless of outward appearances to the contrary. The spiritual reasons could be you weren’t emotionally ready to go to the next level, you had more inner work to do, there were more important things to attend to before your dream could be realized, it wasn’t the right time, or had you realized your dream you would have missed another opportunity that you needed to experience.

When to Let go.

How do you know when it’s time to let go or when you’re charged with trying just one more time? And if you let go, how do you know when it’s time to try again? There is no one-size-fits-all answer. There are many factors to be considered, including timing.

Are you at a crossroad in your life?  Are you wondering if it is time to let go of some person, place, or thing?  Are you wondering how to let go?  Talk it over with a friend. Find a coach you can trust who understands, and go to whomever you use a spiritual resource.

Until next time, I’m Francine Ward, attorney, coach, author, and speaker.  I invite you to join my conversation on my Esteemable Acts Fan page, Esteemable Acts Twitter feed, or in one of my LinkedIn Groups.

Love. Fear. Anger. Emotional Baggage.


Love. Fear. Anger. Emotional Baggage.

Love. Fear.

Love. Fear.

Do you know what gets in the way of Love? It’s old emotional baggage 99% of the time, which most often comes in the form of misplaced anger and/or fear.

As far back as I cam remember I’ve been angry at somebody. In one particular case, it was Janine, a friend who stole money from me. I had been mad at her since 1979. It took until 1989 to resolve the conflict. “She was my best friend. I trusted her, and look at what she did to me!” I’d say to anyone who’d listen to me. “I thought she know if she needed something she could just ask,” I cried. But she didn’t. After a few years of replaying the story, I knew just how to tell it to get the kind of reaction I wanted. I had an investment in the anger, even though we had been friends since childhood. I was holding on to my emotional baggage. What I discovered later was that it was fear, not anger that created a block.  Fear that manifested itself as anger. I carried that emotional baggage around for a long time, until one day it just got too heavy.

Holding on to the Anger.

Have you ever been mad at someone and allowed that anger to last for years? I bet you have. Think about someone you aren’t speaking to today and go back to how long it’s been. We’re not counting bumping into the person in the street, business meetings, or family events, we’re talking about really having him or her in your life. I bet it’s been a long time, longer than you’d like to admit.

Do you remember why you stopped talking? Or how the disagreement even started? Some of you are probably saying “But it was her fault, or it was his fault.” Or “They stopped talking to me first.” Perhaps you are right, but you have helped to keep the resentment going. How willing are you to make the world a better place by living love, not just talking about it? How willing are you to start the process right now?

People Do Let Us Down.

People let us down, whether or not they know it. They hurt us with their words. They disappoint us with their actions. When they hurt us, we feel justified in holding a grudge – forever. Anger is a powerful intoxicant. You can become so consumed with what someone has done to you, you get angry. The anger gets angry, and the anger gets you.

When I finally resolved the conflict with Janine, it was more for my benefit than hers. I had become more consumed with her than I thought I was.

Getting Past the Anger and Fear to the Love.

So what can you do right now, this moment, to move you closer to loving yourself or someone in your life? Ask yourself what action can you take right now? Join the conversation and share how you’re moving forward on my website, Esteemable Acts Fan Page. Esteemable Acts Twitter Page.

Golden Gate Bridge. Suicide. Suicide Hotline. $76 Million on a Net.


Golden Gate Bridge. Suicide.

Golden Gate Bridge. Suicide.

Golden Gate Bridge. Suicide.

The Golden Gate Bridge caused 46 suicides in 2014. Or at least, that is what the Golden Gate Bridge, Highway and Transportation District board would have you believe. They voted on Friday, June 27, 2014 to approve a $76 million project to install a safety net on both sides of the Golden Gate Bridge. Why? Apparently to avert suicide. (How ironic, considering the economic opposition to a high speed rail through California, yet $76 million for a net is okay). Am I dreaming or what? In a state that screams poverty, because we do not have enough funds to provide services to those in need, we dare spend $76-million on a suicide net. Not $76 or even $7,600, but $76 million dollars to build a net around the Golden Gate Bridge, ostensibly to prevent suicide. Why not spend some of that money to beef up the suicide hotline, or seriously address the mental health (including substance abuse) issues.

It’s reported that $27 million would come from the federal Surface Transportation Program, $22 million from the federal Local Highway Bridge Program, $20 million from its own reserves, and $7 million from California Mental Health Service Act money.

Suicide. Suicide Hotline. Golden Gate Bridge.

The District’s general manager, Dennis Mulligan said, “People committing suicide by jumping from the bridge has been a problem for many years… in 2013, 46 people committed suicide on the bridge.”

The irony is that the Bridge District members, who unanimously approved this measure, obviously believe the bridge cause suicides. Anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide knows, where there is a will there is a way.  If someone really wants to take their life–they will. If they can’t jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, they will go to the Bay Bridge, or the Dumbarton Bridge, or the San Mateo Bridge, or the Benicia Bridge, or any number of other bridges in the Bay Area. And if they really want to take their life and no bridge is available, they will find a more immediate and lethal option. I personally know that all too well.

Instead of spending $76 million to build a net around the Golden Gate Bridge, why not spend some of that money of health care provisions and counseling for those who want to commit suicide? Or why not invest in changing the conditions that drive people to want to commit suicide?  Invest in a suicide hotline. Make the suicide hotline a truly valuable resource. The issue is not the bridge.

What do you think? Join the conversation on one of my Facebook Pages, Twitter Pages, Google+ Circles, or in a LinkedIn Group.