Self-Love, Part 2

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Happily ever after. Love Messages.

How we describe ourselves speaks to our level of self-love. Negative self-talk is one of the most destructive behaviors we engage in, because after a while, we start to believe what we say. It often begins with describing ourselves in a derogatory way, using words such as stupid. Idiot, dummy, or worthless. After a while, we become desensitized to those words, and they simply become a working part of our vocabulary. Then before we know it, by our actions, we give others permission to call us names.

Another way we demonstrate self-love is having the courage not to settle for seconds in jobs or relationships. How many of you reading this are stuck in jobs that no longer work (or never have), yet you haven’t left? How many of you are tolerating abuse of any kind in your relationship, yet you continually make excuses for staying? Abuse is just not physical; it’s mental and emotional as well. For example, allowing someone to talk to you in any way they want is submitting to emotional abuse as is allowing your cheating partner to consistently return to your bed. Choosing to ignore your partner’s affairs is not an act of self-love. Yes, there may be valid reasons for staying – temporarily – such as financial support, the kids, or not having somewhere else to go. But overcoming those obstacles should be your priority, not staying.

This week you are invited to practice some new behaviors:

  1. In what ways are you not being yourself? How can you love more authentically, more in alignment with who you really are? What stops you?
  2. Today list the negative words you use to describe yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings? Why do you use those words to describe yourself, your thoughts, and your feelings? Now, replace each word with a more positive description of yourself. The way to really change how you talk about yourself is to practice using the new words.
  3. Make a list of the jobs you’ve had during the last five years. What did you like about each one? What did you not like? What about your present job? Do you enjoy what you do? Why? If not, why not? Why do you stay in a job you hate? What’s the payoff? How does staying in a job you don’t like move you further from self-love?
  4. Recall three to five times you wish you had spoken up, starting with today? How could you have handled a situation differently? Was there an opportunity for you to speak up? Was there something that needed to be said that you didn’t say in the moment.

Now ask yourself what observations can you make about your willingness to practice new and different behaviors what worked for you? What was challenging?

Until next time, I’m Attorney Francine Ward helping you protect what’s yours. Join my conversation on FacebookTwitter, or in one of my LinkedIn groupsGoogle+ Circles. Feel free to subscribe to my newsletter.

Move Your Body. Self-Care. Burn Calories.

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Obesity. Epidemic. Diet Plans.

Move Your Body.

Move Your Body.

It’s no secret that obesity has become a full-blown epidemic in the United States. According to CDC statistics, 34.9% of adult Americans are obese. This adds up to 78.6 million people. When you add in childhood obesity, more than half of Americans are obese.

Obesity can lead to many devastating ailments such as heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, as well as certain types of cancers. Being obese can also lead to isolation and depression. Those who suffer from obesity may find the simple tasks that others perform on a daily basis to be challenging, if not impossible.

The weight loss industry in America pulled in over $60 billion in 2014. We are inundated by weight loss ads everywhere we look, from diet plans, supplements, gyms/work-outs, and even surgery. However, there are simple and inexpensive ways to at least prevent obesity, if not reverse it.

The good news is that just moving your body more than you currently do can stop you from becoming obese and help you to lose weight, as well. That’s right, you don’t necessarily need to join a gym, just look for opportunities throughout your day to move more. It’s that simple!

Burn Calories.

Recently, the Mayo Clinic listed 10 ways to burn more calories at work.

Make the most of your commute: If you take the train or bus to work, get off a stop earlier and walk.
Look for opportunities to stand: You burn more calories standing than sitting. Stand while on the phone or try a standing desk.
Take fitness breaks: Take a brisk walk or stretch during work breaks instead of hanging out in the office lounge and snaking.
Trade your office chair for a fitness ball: Sitting on an inflatable fitness ball improves balance and core fitness.
Keep fitness equipment in your work area: Keep resistance bands or small hand weights in your desk drawer or cabinet and use them during break time.
Get social: Organize a lunchtime walking group and hold each other accountable for participation.
Conduct meetings on the go: When practical and weather permitting, schedule walking meetings or brainstorming sessions.
Pick up the pace: If your job already involves walking, just walk faster.
If you travel for work, plan ahead: Choose a hotel with fitness facilities, pack a resistance band or jump rope in your suitcase, take a brisk walk through the airport while waiting for your flight.
Try a treadmill desk: If you really want to take workplace exercise to the next level, put a treadmill under a treadmill ready vertical desk.

It is an Esteemable Act to treat your body like the precious vessel it is. It is important to remember that self-esteem goes hand in hand with self-care. Good health is a result of choices: smart, courageous, proactive, well-thought-out choices. This includes listening to your body and saying STOP when your friends, job and family are telling you GO.

Self-Care. Feeling Good.

Over time, many of us develop bad habits. As we get older, these habits begin to take their toll on us. We must realize that good health is not owed to us by virtue of being on earth; we have to earn it. For many people, it’s only when they lose their health that they realize just how important it was. Don’t wait until you get to that point before you start practicing self-care, as I almost did.

Your health is your business, therefore it is your responsibility to take care of it and focus your attention on it just as you do on your stock portfolio. And remember to not make the mistake of putting more emphasis on looking good over feeling good. You can do things to make yourself look better, but to truly feel better goes much deeper.

It is important to remember that the body and mind are but two different sides of the same coin. When the body suffers, so does the mind, and vice versa. Practicing real self-care involves nurturing not only your body, but your mind and spirit as well. And please, start now – don’t wait any longer!

For additional ways to protect your health, read ACT 5 of Esteemable Acts: 10 Actions for Building Real Self Esteem and Week 17 of 52 Weeks of Esteemable Acts: A Guide to Right Living.

Feel free to join my conversation on FacebookFacebook Esteemableacts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts pageTwitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn.

It’s an Esteemable Act to Actively Love

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Love. I Love You.

Love. Esteemable Act.

Love. Esteemable Act.

Love, as a word, is memorialized in countless books, movies, poems and musical compositions. While there are many definitions of love, its essence, when used as a verb, can be captured in a few phrases: to care for, to cherish, to respect, to honor, to show an interest in, to value, or to treat with kindness.

For some people, love is the feeling you have when you care for someone; for others, its endearing thoughts about the person who is the object of their affection; and still for others, it’s simply saying the words “I love you.” However, love goes beyond the words, the feelings, and the thoughts to the very expression behind the words.

Love is more about how you act than what you say.

Think about it; how often have you said something with your words, but your attitude, facial expression, and behavior said something totally different? How often has someone said kind words to you, but their behavior indicated something entirely different? Love is demonstrated through action, when you love someone, you treat them in a way that shows you care for them, cherish them, respect them, and honor them.

So what gets in the way of love?

Old emotional baggage is what gets in the way of love 99 percent of the time. It can come in the form of anger and fear, just to name a few.

Have you ever been mad at someone and allowed that anger to last for years? I bet you have. Think about someone you aren’t speaking to today and go back to how long it’s been. We’re not counting bumping into the person in the street, business meetings, or family events; we’re talking about really having him or her in your life. I bet it’s been a long time, longer than you’d like to admit. Do you remember why you stopped talking? Or how the disagreement even started? Some of you are probably saying “But it was their fault.” Or “They stopped talking to me first.” Perhaps you are right, but you have helped to keep the resentment going. How willing are you to make the world a better place by living love, not just talking about it?

Loving Yourself.

Letting go of anger is a choice we are free to make. But before we let go, we need to understand why we choose to hold on. For one thing, holding on to anger is easy. It takes work to move through a conflict and see another person’s side, more than most of us want to put out.

What can you do right now, this moment, to move you closer to loving yourself or someone in your life? What one action are you willing to take right now?

Feel free to join my conversation on FacebookFacebook Esteemableacts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts pageTwitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn.

Focus. Goals. Self esteem.

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Stay focused on the goal.

Focus. Goals.

Focus. Goals.

Self-esteem comes from staying focused on your goals, and focus is the key to making something happen. It’s about being attentive to the goals, about keeping the end in mind. I learned from a wise person many years ago, that where I place my attention is what I ultimately manifest.

How many times have you made a commitment to yourself and not kept it? How many times have you just allowed stuff to get in the way of your doing what you said you would do? When we regularly neglect our needs and desires to the point that it becomes a lifestyle choice, we pay dearly.

So why do we get off track? Why do we allow ourselves to lose sight of what we say is important in the moment? There are lots of reasons, some more valid than others. Our emergencies, other people’s emergencies, lack of money, lack of time, insufficient information, no child care, our spouse, our boss, our kids – are all examples of excuses we use for not attending to our own needs. But regardless of the validity of our excuses, if we’re really honest with ourselves, we see that most often it boils down to fear.
Attaining focus and staying on track is about keeping agreements with ourselves. Eventually, to succeed at what we want to do in life, we must start doing the things that lead to our success, regardless of life’s distractions. We must be willing to take action regardless of how we feel. We must stay focused on the goal.

Here are some simple steps to take to focus on your goals today:

  • Identify three things you’ve been putting off doing. Whatever it is, this is the day to call it what it is: important unfinished business.
  • Create an intention to stay focused on what’s important. Write out a positive statement saying what you indent to do regarding those three things you’ve been putting off.
  • Identify the task and break it into small pieces. What small steps can you take to get you started?
  • Schedule everything. In your date book or on your electric calendar, schedule blocks of time – every week – to work on the small pieces that you’ve identified.I invite you to have the courage to stay focused on your needs and desires – no matter what!
    Feel free to join my conversation on Facebook, Facebook Esteemable Acts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts page, Twitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn.

Good Health is a Privilege

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Good health is not a right, it’s a privilege.  

Most of us are born with a functional body and healthy parts. As children, many of us learn how to take care of those parts: regularity brushing our teeth, washing our skin and hair, eating properly, doing exercise, getting checkups, practicing mental stimulation and emotional self-care. But even with the best early training, we often still fall prey to bad habits.

When it comes to our health most of us are more concerned with how we look than how we feel. For many people, the outside takes priority over the inside. We spend hours in front of the mirror focused on the shape of our muscles rather than the condition they are in. We’ve been taught to believe that the better our bodies look, the greater our self-love. Not so.

How often have you seen a beautiful body attached to an unhealthy mind? Or a pretty woman with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth? Or a gorgeous guy addicted to alcohol or drugs? How often have you seen a thin, well-shaped person who has bad skin?

 

Good Health. Smart Choices.

Good healthy is a result of choices, smart, courageous, proactive, well-thought-out choices, which aren’t always easy to make. Choices that sometimes require that you say “STOP” when everyone says “GO,” or that require you to say “YES” when others say “NO.”

Self-esteem comes from doing Esteemable Acts, including making the right choices for your health. You don’t have to wait until it’s too late to wake up and practice self-care. You can start now, regardless of how old you are.

 

Start Anew Today!

What choices regarding your healthy are you making today?  Take some time to explore the consequences of your previous health and lifestyle choices. Sometimes reality hurts, especially as we get older and realize we can’t go back and change the past. But the good news is that no matter what our past choices, we can start anew today and live the healthiest life we can, for as long as we can.

Feel free to join my conversation on FacebookFacebook Esteemableacts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts pageTwitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn.