Self-esteem Comes from Honoring your Healing Journey


My life isn’t perfect.

Young woman exercising at the beach


I make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes I tumble and fall. I am a work in progress. And when I remember that simple fact, I am better for the experience.

It’s easy to start on a path of change and get so busy doing that we need to do that we forget to stop, breathe, and acknowledge the effort we’ve already made.

There are times when I have to be reminded to do for myself what I do for others. The other day, a friend caught me denigrating the work I put into a project because it wasn’t done perfectly. When she asked how it was coming along, I said, “I can’t seem to get it down perfectly. It’s horrible.” I then spent ten minutes – which was as long as she could tolerate my ranting – downplaying the work. She couldn’t believe she was listening to me. “You could be one of your clients,” she said. And how right she was.  At that moment in time, I needed to be coached into a different way of thinking.  I needed an attitude adjustment.

Change is hard work, and allowing ourselves to get to the healing is even harder. It takes great effort to stay on a path that leads to purposeful self-discovery. It takes energy – persistent energy – to be an active participant in the creation of our lives. A healing path requires having the courage to shine a light or allow a light to shine on parts of ourselves that we’d rather keep private.

Appreciate your effort.

It means having the courage to see the work that still needs to be done, AND honor and appreciate the effort that you’ve made.  What gets in the way of doing that?

  • Fear of being seen as arrogant, conceited, and selfish (this is particularly a problem with women).
  • Not good at honoring ourselves out loud. We may do it in private, but God forbid we tell the world.
  • Not knowing how to honor ourselves. Often we’ve never done it before, and more likely, it’s never been done to us.
  • Feeling guilty. Since others who are equally or more qualified haven’t been recognized or don’t recognize themselves, we feel we shouldn’t acknowledge ourselves.
  • Not knowing the right words to use to accurately describe how we feel.
  • Fear that we might be seen as taking credit for something.

It’s important to honor the journey we are on. It’s crucial for our own well-being and mental health. So how do we do it?

  • Make a commitment to yourself to honor what you do. All that means is acknowledge the successes you’ve regardless of how small. Appreciate every effort.
  • Know that if you don’t honor yourself, even if others do, it will be an empty win. Outside love will never be able to effectively fill up the hole within you.
  • In your journal each night, write a gratitude list that includes some actions you’ve taken that you are grateful for.
  • When someone gives you a compliment about an action you’ve taken, graciously say, “Thank you.”

Today I invite you to affirm that you will honor your healing journey and you will appreciate your own efforts!

Feel free to join my conversation on FacebookFacebook Esteemableacts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts page, Twitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn.

Move Your Body. Self-Care. Burn Calories.


Obesity. Epidemic. Diet Plans.

Move Your Body.

Move Your Body.

It’s no secret that obesity has become a full-blown epidemic in the United States. According to CDC statistics, 34.9% of adult Americans are obese. This adds up to 78.6 million people. When you add in childhood obesity, more than half of Americans are obese.

Obesity can lead to many devastating ailments such as heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, as well as certain types of cancers. Being obese can also lead to isolation and depression. Those who suffer from obesity may find the simple tasks that others perform on a daily basis to be challenging, if not impossible.

The weight loss industry in America pulled in over $60 billion in 2014. We are inundated by weight loss ads everywhere we look, from diet plans, supplements, gyms/work-outs, and even surgery. However, there are simple and inexpensive ways to at least prevent obesity, if not reverse it.

The good news is that just moving your body more than you currently do can stop you from becoming obese and help you to lose weight, as well. That’s right, you don’t necessarily need to join a gym, just look for opportunities throughout your day to move more. It’s that simple!

Burn Calories.

Recently, the Mayo Clinic listed 10 ways to burn more calories at work.

Make the most of your commute: If you take the train or bus to work, get off a stop earlier and walk.
Look for opportunities to stand: You burn more calories standing than sitting. Stand while on the phone or try a standing desk.
Take fitness breaks: Take a brisk walk or stretch during work breaks instead of hanging out in the office lounge and snaking.
Trade your office chair for a fitness ball: Sitting on an inflatable fitness ball improves balance and core fitness.
Keep fitness equipment in your work area: Keep resistance bands or small hand weights in your desk drawer or cabinet and use them during break time.
Get social: Organize a lunchtime walking group and hold each other accountable for participation.
Conduct meetings on the go: When practical and weather permitting, schedule walking meetings or brainstorming sessions.
Pick up the pace: If your job already involves walking, just walk faster.
If you travel for work, plan ahead: Choose a hotel with fitness facilities, pack a resistance band or jump rope in your suitcase, take a brisk walk through the airport while waiting for your flight.
Try a treadmill desk: If you really want to take workplace exercise to the next level, put a treadmill under a treadmill ready vertical desk.

It is an Esteemable Act to treat your body like the precious vessel it is. It is important to remember that self-esteem goes hand in hand with self-care. Good health is a result of choices: smart, courageous, proactive, well-thought-out choices. This includes listening to your body and saying STOP when your friends, job and family are telling you GO.

Self-Care. Feeling Good.

Over time, many of us develop bad habits. As we get older, these habits begin to take their toll on us. We must realize that good health is not owed to us by virtue of being on earth; we have to earn it. For many people, it’s only when they lose their health that they realize just how important it was. Don’t wait until you get to that point before you start practicing self-care, as I almost did.

Your health is your business, therefore it is your responsibility to take care of it and focus your attention on it just as you do on your stock portfolio. And remember to not make the mistake of putting more emphasis on looking good over feeling good. You can do things to make yourself look better, but to truly feel better goes much deeper.

It is important to remember that the body and mind are but two different sides of the same coin. When the body suffers, so does the mind, and vice versa. Practicing real self-care involves nurturing not only your body, but your mind and spirit as well. And please, start now – don’t wait any longer!

For additional ways to protect your health, read ACT 5 of Esteemable Acts: 10 Actions for Building Real Self Esteem and Week 17 of 52 Weeks of Esteemable Acts: A Guide to Right Living.

Feel free to join my conversation on FacebookFacebook Esteemableacts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts pageTwitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn.

Self-Esteem Comes From Having the Courage to Be Real


Being Authentic. Tell the truth or look good?

Courage. Real. Skill.

Courage. Real. Skill.

It is easy to talk about being authentic without having a clue what it really means. Real authenticity refers to the distance between us and other people. And we measure that distance by how willing we are to be real.

There’s a constant battle within many of us: “Should I tell the truth or should I look good?” The funny thing is that we think we have a choice. And while we ultimately do, the more aligned we are with our true selves, the less it feels like a choice. Each time you hear a speaker or author use his or her life as a teaching tool, aren’t you just a little inspired and in awe? Every time you hear someone tell the truth from the platform, aren’t you just a little encouraged to do the same? When a person has the courage to tell the truth, it gives the rest of us permission to do the same.

When first asked to share my story in a public forum, it was frightening. I was devastated because I hadn’t yet made peace with my past. It was hard to admit I was a heroin addict and an alcoholic at fourteen; that I dropped out of high school and lived homeless on the streets at eighteen; that by twenty-one I became a prostitute to support my habits; and that at twenty-six I was so drunk that I walked in front of a moving car. In my eyes, being less than perfect was something to be ashamed of, not accepted, and certainly not celebrated. However, as I came to terms with my life, as I began to see how my experience was a gift to me, I recognized its utility for others.

Life. Kept Secret.

So how do we move from seeing life as something to be kept secret to using it as an opportunity to serve? How do we move from talking about being authentic to actually being authentic? Here are some suggestions that helped me and perhaps they will resonate with you:

  • Bring to mind someone who had the courage to be real. How did you feel in their presence? Were you able to connect with them in some way? Why?
  • Think about a difficulty you faced in your life. What lessons did you learn?
  • Share your experience with a trusted friend. Putting words to your past is a first step to being more real over time.
  • Listen for opportunities to be real. You may meet someone with a similar problem who needs to know that others share it. If that happens, have the courage to be real and share your experience.
  • Keep talking. The more you come clean, the easier it gets.
  • Come to peace with your past, because the more at peace you are with yourself, the more real you can be.

Courage to be Real.

Self-esteem comes from the courage to be real, and being real takes skill. It takes courage because we risk losing something: face, family, friends, jobs, and our reputation for being a certain way. Yet each time we are courageous it gets easier – not easy, but easier. We become someone people can relate to. And even if our experience differs from theirs in the details, they know we are people who have lived through a fire and can teach them how to do the same.

Feel free to join my conversation on FacebookFacebook Esteemableacts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts pageTwitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn.

Focus. Goals. Self esteem.


Stay focused on the goal.

Focus. Goals.

Focus. Goals.

Self-esteem comes from staying focused on your goals, and focus is the key to making something happen. It’s about being attentive to the goals, about keeping the end in mind. I learned from a wise person many years ago, that where I place my attention is what I ultimately manifest.

How many times have you made a commitment to yourself and not kept it? How many times have you just allowed stuff to get in the way of your doing what you said you would do? When we regularly neglect our needs and desires to the point that it becomes a lifestyle choice, we pay dearly.

So why do we get off track? Why do we allow ourselves to lose sight of what we say is important in the moment? There are lots of reasons, some more valid than others. Our emergencies, other people’s emergencies, lack of money, lack of time, insufficient information, no child care, our spouse, our boss, our kids – are all examples of excuses we use for not attending to our own needs. But regardless of the validity of our excuses, if we’re really honest with ourselves, we see that most often it boils down to fear.
Attaining focus and staying on track is about keeping agreements with ourselves. Eventually, to succeed at what we want to do in life, we must start doing the things that lead to our success, regardless of life’s distractions. We must be willing to take action regardless of how we feel. We must stay focused on the goal.

Here are some simple steps to take to focus on your goals today:

  • Identify three things you’ve been putting off doing. Whatever it is, this is the day to call it what it is: important unfinished business.
  • Create an intention to stay focused on what’s important. Write out a positive statement saying what you indent to do regarding those three things you’ve been putting off.
  • Identify the task and break it into small pieces. What small steps can you take to get you started?
  • Schedule everything. In your date book or on your electric calendar, schedule blocks of time – every week – to work on the small pieces that you’ve identified.I invite you to have the courage to stay focused on your needs and desires – no matter what!
    Feel free to join my conversation on Facebook, Facebook Esteemable Acts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts page, Twitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn.

Good Health is a Privilege


Good health is not a right, it’s a privilege.  

Most of us are born with a functional body and healthy parts. As children, many of us learn how to take care of those parts: regularity brushing our teeth, washing our skin and hair, eating properly, doing exercise, getting checkups, practicing mental stimulation and emotional self-care. But even with the best early training, we often still fall prey to bad habits.

When it comes to our health most of us are more concerned with how we look than how we feel. For many people, the outside takes priority over the inside. We spend hours in front of the mirror focused on the shape of our muscles rather than the condition they are in. We’ve been taught to believe that the better our bodies look, the greater our self-love. Not so.

How often have you seen a beautiful body attached to an unhealthy mind? Or a pretty woman with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth? Or a gorgeous guy addicted to alcohol or drugs? How often have you seen a thin, well-shaped person who has bad skin?


Good Health. Smart Choices.

Good healthy is a result of choices, smart, courageous, proactive, well-thought-out choices, which aren’t always easy to make. Choices that sometimes require that you say “STOP” when everyone says “GO,” or that require you to say “YES” when others say “NO.”

Self-esteem comes from doing Esteemable Acts, including making the right choices for your health. You don’t have to wait until it’s too late to wake up and practice self-care. You can start now, regardless of how old you are.


Start Anew Today!

What choices regarding your healthy are you making today?  Take some time to explore the consequences of your previous health and lifestyle choices. Sometimes reality hurts, especially as we get older and realize we can’t go back and change the past. But the good news is that no matter what our past choices, we can start anew today and live the healthiest life we can, for as long as we can.

Feel free to join my conversation on FacebookFacebook Esteemableacts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts pageTwitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn.