Success. Obstacles. Core Beliefs.

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Core Beliefs as Obstacles to Success.

Successful. Women. Janice Howroyd.

We are what we believe, and we create our reality based on what we think.  What do you do today (or not do) that can be traced back to a childhood belief?  For example, as a kid, were you taught that vegetables were good for you?  If so you either love vegetables because you believe they were healthy, and you want to be healthy, or you hate them because you rebelled against being told you had to eat them.  Either way, your belief about vegetables defines your relationship with them today.

Let’s tie this theory of beliefs and outcome to goals. If you grew up believing you could have anything in the world you wanted, you would likely take actions that supported that belief.  So it wouldn’t be a surprise if your life turned out exactly as you wanted it. Likewise, if you grew up believing that you were not good enough or smart enough to have what you wanted, then there was a strong likelihood that you would not get your heart’s desire.  A self-fulfilling prophecy.

Our beliefs are powerful and if we’re not careful, they will control our destiny. 

What do you believe? How are those beliefs impacting your dreams and goals?

This week why not spend some time exploring what it is you’d like to happen for the rest of this year.  Then, I invite you to honestly assess your beliefs and feelings about it. You may be surprised at what you find, particularly if what you find is an obstacle to your success.

Let’s get you busy taking action. It’s an Esteemable Act.  To read more on how you can change your beliefs in order to live the life you want, take a look at Esteemable Acts: 10 Action for Building Real Self Esteem

 

Join my conversation on FacebookFacebook Esteemableacts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts page, Twitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn. Feel free to subscribe to my newsletter.

Accountability. Success.

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Key to Success.Secrets to Success.

Once in an interview, I was asked, “What is the secret to your success?”

“Continued sobriety, a  strong belief in a God that works under all conditions, a fabulous recovery support system over the years, treasured mentors, my mother, a loving husband, and a willingness to do the work” I responded.  “But the two most important factors,” I said, “have been my courageous spirit and my willingness to be accountable for my actions.”

Each time I did something I was afraid to do, I was a winner. Going back to school, becoming a lawyer, continuing to take the Bar exam after multiple failures, letting go of the practice of law, asking for help, revealing my story publicly, and speaking up against injustice, particularly when I feared retaliation, have all been opportunities to walk through my fear.

I am also willing to be held accountable for the choices, actions, and decisions I make. Accountability is a point of view that is practiced through action. It means looking at the part we play in everything that happens to us. It means seeing ourselves as volunteers and participants in our lives, not as victims of circumstance. This is a difficult mind-set to master, particularly when we don’t like what’s happening. But once we get in the habit of seeing our part, we profit in many ways, as the following:

  • You get greater results because you’re focused on solutions. Victims wait for things to change to feel better. Accountable, people take charge and recognize what they can do now.
  • You feel more empowered because you’re more in control. When you’re not sitting around waiting for something to happen, you feel good and in control of your life.
  • You genuinely feel better about yourself because you make healthier choices. There is a sense of self-esteem that results from making right choices.
  • You make different choices because you know you’ll be held responsible.
  • You are smarter because you learn from your mistakes. It’s less likely you’ll repeat them.

Accountability. 

Accountability is a choice we make and a process that never ends. Today you are invited to discover and uncover behaviors that keep you stuck in blame, and you’re invited to identify opportunities for greater accountability and thereby greater self-esteem.

Until next time, I’m Francine Wardattorney, coach, author, and speaker.  I invite you to join my conversation on my Esteemable Acts Fan pageEsteemable Acts Twitter feed, or in one of my LinkedIn Groups.

 

 

Everything Happens for a Reason

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“Why me?”

Forgiveness. Be Grateful.

Be Grateful. Dreams. 

Sometimes when we’re disappointed because we didn’t get an outcome we wanted, it’s hard to understand why it happened. It seems unfair that we try so hard to achieve our goals with little visible success. It’s especially hard if we did our very best. “Why me?” we ask. “Why is this happening to me? What did I do wrong?”

Nothing happens by accident.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in this world by accident, even if in the moment we can’t make sense of the experiences. There are often two levels of reasoning. There is a logical, secular explanation, such as we weren’t prepared in the way we need to be or we could have made some different choices. But there is also a spiritual, metaphysical accounting that suggests that whatever happens was for our highest and best good, regardless of outward appearances to the contrary.

The spiritual reasons could be we weren’t emotionally ready to go to the next level. We had more inner work to do, there were more important things to attend to before our dreams could be realized, it wasn’t the right time, or had we realized our dream, we would have missed another opportunity that we needed to experience.

How do you know whether to let a dream go or keep at it?

And if you let go, how do you know when it’s time to try again? There is no one-size fits-all answer. There are many factors to be considered, including timing. If you’re at this crossroads take into account the following:

  • Are you consumed with making your dream happen?
  • How long have you worked to make it happen? How many attempts have you made?
  • How does your obsession with making it happen affect your loved ones? Sometimes the price we pay is worth it – and sometimes it’s not. Only you can decide.
  • What are the financial implications? Health implications? Are you using your last dime, your family’s savings, or your rent money? Are you getting sick? These are questions to consider.
  • Is it really your dream to make this happen? If so, sometimes it’s worth everything to keep the dream alive.
  • Does your life or livelihood depend on the success of this experience?
  • How do you know when you’re ready to resume the process? The answer varies. However, the amount of time since your last attempt, whether you’ve been able to acknowledge your mistakes, whether you’ve been able to indentify lessons learned, and whether you’ve been able to reach out for help are all factors to be weighed.

Today allow yourself to think through what would happen if you put your dream on hold temporarily. You may not think that you have the time or that you’ve already invested too much money to stop now. But perhaps if you continue as you are, more money and time will go to waste. Sometimes allowing time to come between you and the experience gives you a chance to regroup, reassess your strategy, and become spiritually and emotionally strong again.

Feel free to join my conversation on FacebookFacebook Esteemableacts Fan Page, or my Facebook Law Page, you can also interact with me on my Twitter Esteemable Acts pageTwitter Law Page, or on LinkedIn.